Dear Diary
by mikashiro
Summary: Damn i suck at summaries but anyway a sad story about the reader and her love for a certain superhero
1. Chapter 1

**Entry one**

Dear Diary,

Damn i have not written something in here forever , but i think its time to do it now...

We are happy atleast he thinks so , but i ... i know better.

He is drifting away from me.

All those times he comes home late at night and no the reason of this is not because he is saving people but something else completely.

Its her...Lois Lane

My Dream began when they had a fight.

Mean words were spoken , tears shed and things (mainly vases) were thrown against the wall

In the end she left and he came to me for comfort.

I know it was wrong of me to take advantage of his state

but what would you do?

I loved him for years since i visited the Kents with my adoptive aunt. He was handsome really handsome but that was just a bounus for me since the best part of him was is personality.

Funny , shy and manners like a true gentleman how can a woman resist that?

When my aunt and me had to go back to the big city my heart nearly broke but he promised me, we would see each other again and so that spark of hope lit me the way and i began studying .

Psychology , it was always easy for me to read people.

At some point when i started to actually train my "power" i could know what a person was feeling by only looking them into the eyes.

My professors were in awe at my writings and soon i was invited to the Daily Planet to discribe my life as a small psychic wonder.

And so i meet my light again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Entry Two**

 **Dear Diary ,**

 **Im sorry that i did not wrote much yesterday but i had a appointment with my doctor...**

 **The headaches are getting worse and the voices are getting louder. But enough of that i will write more about that later..**

 **Were was i ? Oh yeah i meet him again...Clark Kent.**

 **He looked exactly the same even after all these years..maybe the glasses were new but they only added to his charm.**

 **The director of the Daily Planet was giving me a tour throug the building until we stopped at a row of desks and there he sat in all his glory. Our eyes meet but i dont think he regocnized me that was until my name was was suprised , his eyes told me so but there was something else. Was it hurt? Yeah he was hurting but why?**

 **My thoughts were interrupted when he stood up and hugged me.**

 **Truth to be told i did not expect that, same for the director who was quickly to scold him. I only waved it off and hugged Clark back. It was nice to be close to him again he always had a calming aura around him.**

 **Next came business. Clark and his Partner Louis were appointed to write an article of my so called 'psycic' powers.**

 **I myself didn't know back then why all the people always made such a fuss over it but anyway i was glad that Clark was the one interviewing me since his partner was nowhere to be found.**

 **We meet later that day in a small restaurant . It was nice and he told me a bit about his work and that his partner was also his girlfriend. That i was shocked to hear that would be an understatement . The love of my life already had another?**

 **Was i to late? But the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes were conflicted and i could not hold back and asked him if there was something wrong.**

 **He smiled and it was a sad one... it took me everything not to go over there and hug him.**

 **And so he started to explain his problem to me.**

 **Apperently they had a fight over a trivial matter.**

 **They were undercover , collecting informations in a case of stolen donations in the local darkside. Clark went there as a corrupted banker with Lois as his wife.**

 **While he was talking to some other criminal he saw that Loius was flirting with another man , which Clark didnt like at all.**

 **After they were done he questioned her about that and the only answer he got was to loosen up since it was their job.**

 **And then the fight started.**

 **He let out the gory detailes which i was thankfull for .**

 **Poor Clark how could Lois do something like that to him?**

 **Did she not see that he liked her? No no loved her?**

 **How stupid could one woman be?**

 **Heaving a sigh i pat his hand and told him he could always come to me when he was lonely. Afterall we were friends no?**

 **When our little 'date' ended , he had his story about me and i got my hope back.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Entry three**

 **Dear Diary,**

 **it is difficult to write with all the new things around me.**

 **And with new things i mean stuff that other people can't see , like shadows hovering over people and ghosts?**

 **I dont know anymore but i should continue .**

 **It did not take long until Clark called me.**

 **He said it was nice to have someone to talk to and i agreed. Not many men only wanted to talk if you know what i mean , but Clark had always been a real gentleman.**

 **We met up a few more times afterwards and i could feel that something changed.**

 **No longer had he that sad twinkle in his eyes when he was talking about his job or Louis. It was now replaced with indifference , which i was glad about.**

 **Clark also began to laugh more and god! His laugh was beautiful!**

 **At this point it was also a matter of time till i found out about his secret.**

 **Really a silly accident.**

 **Me not looking and falling over the railing of a very high building. Thankfully someone caught me and im sure you can guess who.**

 **I was suprised. I mean how could nobody see that Clark Kent was superman? Only his eyes could hold such emotions in them!**

 **After reaching the ground he held me just a bit longer than necessary. It was nice and i felt at ease.**

 **Later that day Clark an i met again and i told him of my discovery. At that his demanor changed .**

 **He was afraid of that i was sure , but why?**

 **I questioned him and he told me of his fear.**

 **He was afraid of me thinking of his as a monster and that i would dissociate myself from him.**

 **He also told me that he could not lose another loved one and at that my heart skipped a beat.**

 **'Loved one' that sure had a nice ring to it.**

 **Not wating for him to finish his rambling i hugged him tight. "It is alright , i would never hate you or leave you i promise", i told him. "Really?", came his weak reply.**

 **"Really , afterall it is only fair since you in return will always be there to catch me when i fall no?", i answered him. "Ofcourse!", said Clark before kissing me for the first time.**

 **And then i was in heaven. Nothing could break this beautiful dream of mine...or so i thought.**


	4. Chapter 4

Entry four

Dear Diary,

im feeling better mainly because i have him by my side now.

Who you wonder? Well only the most handsome man in the world!

After my little accident he asked me out and one thing lead to another and now he is my boyfriend.

I cant even describe how happy i am , finally for once in my life i found someone that i can truly cherish.

After my family died in that freak accident i never thought that would happen but did and im so glad.

My time with him is like a dream that i dont want to wake up from.

Waking up with a kiss having his strong arms around me what does a girl want more?

In those moments i saw only adoration for me in his eyes . I knew it would not be love but i also knew it would take time for him completely forget about her.

It would only be a matter of time i told myself soon those eyes i loved so much would look at me the same way and then he would be mine heart and mind.

Soon though i realised how wrong i was.

A day like any other we were walking around the park like most couples do , telling stories about our jobs laughing and holding hands until Clark stopped in his tracks.

„Whats wrong?", i asked him worried if something was wrong.

„ I need to go!" , was his only reply before he runs away leaving me standing here.

I waited for his return ofcourse not wanting to ruin our day together , since he was normaly done fast enough with things to come back or atleast call me if things took longer.

This time however i recived not even a call and when the clock on my phone showed me past midnight i knew he was not coming back.

The way back to my apartment was dreadfull and when i got home and no one was there my worries only intensified.

What if something happend to him ? I know my fears where far from rational because there was nothing on this planet that could actually hurt him but that did not help me at all.

So i did the most logical thing and turned on the Tv.

If something happend to him it surely would be shown in the news right?

Soon after i turn on the Tv my worried were replaced with anger , sadness and fear?

The headlines of the news blaring in my ears.

„Superman saves Reporter Louis Lane from dangerous Drug Lord" , comes from the speakers and i couldnt help but start shaking. This was over an hour ago! Where was he?

And then the room starts spinning , faces grinning and voices whispering to me.

„He is with her~"

„He does not love you~"

„He is using you!"

And then the world goes black.

The next moring i woke up on the bed a note beside me.

It said:

„ Im sorry for yesterday and also sorry for not being there when you wake up

but i wish you a good morning and a good day until later „

-Clark

Frustraded i crumpled the paper in my hands and rubbed my temples.

Not even an "i love you"?

Groaning i stood up and got ready for the day surely i was only imagining things.

He would not leave me ? Right?


	5. Chapter 5

**Shadows moving , always moving.**

 **Eyes are watching me so rentlessly.**

 **What is wrong with me?**

 **The voices are not only a humming anymore.**

 **They are talking to me now.**

 **"Your end is near , but also a new you", they are whispering.**

 **I dont know what they mean , do they know something that i dont?**

 **I cant handle this anymore but how could i explain this to Clark? Would he see me as a freak?**

 **But he doesnt really listen to me anymore..**

 **Its like talking to a stranger and it hurts...**

 **The next day it is even worse.**

 **Its effecting my surroundings and me...**

 **I was standing in the kitchen and before i knew it everything turned black and i was back in the bedroom.**

 **How was that possible? What is happening?**

 **Visiting my doctor didnt help at all , he thinks the heartbreak is the reason why i imagine all those things.**

 **But why is the shadow behind him smiling telling me that the doc is wrong and that i should teach him a lesson?**

 **Maybe i should afterall he doesnt care at all about his patients or so the shadow told me.**

 **With a small vicious smile on my face i tell him everything the shadow told me and boy i didnt thought anyone still alive could get this pale!**

 **Ofcourse he threw me out called me a creepy stalker even so i didnt even know his first name.**

 **This wasnt the last accident however.**

 **After Clark came home from work 'his date with Louis'**

 **he also had that shadow hoovering behind him.**

 **This time i was not afraid...no this time i was courious what the shadow would say to me.**

 **Clark came over to me and kissed my forhead , he always did that lately and it began to bug me.**

 **Why would he not kiss me on the lips?**

 **'Because you dont taste like her' came the reply from the shadow. I was a bit shocked . Could they read my thoughts?**

 **The shadow began to chuckle.**

 **'No but your face said enough', said the shadow before falling silent again.**

 **Clark went to the kitchen and I followed suit , afterall i wanted to know more about his day at 'work'.**

 **His answers were short like always but the shadow had more to say.**

 **'He loves to hear her laugh its like music to his ears!**

 **He does not think about you at all my dear only a small part of his brain tries to remind him about you , but he ignores it', came the chilling whisper and i stopped in my tracks as i stared at it.**

 **Thankfully Clark did not notice my strange behaviour for he was to busy having a shower an going to bed , while i stood there listening not only to the shadow but to my heart breaking.**

 **Hello everyone i do not know how many people are actually reading this fanfic...**

 **To all that do i must say im kinda sorry? I had no motivation the last months and i read my other chapters**

 **again and gosh so many errors x.x ill try to tune it down a bit but i write these things mostly after midnight when my mind**

 **starts having brainstorm fits xD but anyway if you want anymore of this let me know.**


End file.
